Week 9 - "You can't reach the brain through the ears" - Adam Mastroianni

I got the idea for this week's publication from Adam Mastroianni's latest blog post, "You can't reach the brain through the ears" which I highly suggest checking out. I've linked

Thoughts of the Week

At some point in our lives, we all will or have received advice that we should have taken. Typically this advice will come from someone older and with more life experience, but that won’t stop us from ignoring the advice and making the same mistakes.

Why is that?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself this week. In a world filled with information about the most optimal way to do everything and lessons someone has learned from their experiences, we ignore tons of good advice just to learn things the hard way. It’s an interesting pattern and I believe there are several reasons that explain why.

The first may be obvious, but I think it’s important to acknowledge that we often ignore good advice because it’s often difficult. The best example of this is nutrition. Every corner of the internet will say almost the same thing about reducing the amount of sugar and salt we consume and increasing our vegetable intake. Yet, in countries like America, we still have an obesity epidemic. Even with the advice in front of our faces, the difficulty will turn off most people. 

The second reason is much more interesting, and I have to thank Adam Mastroianni, author of “Experimental History”¹, for the idea. In his article, “You can't reach the brain through the ears”, Adam suggests that one of the reasons we don’t listen to a lot of advice we receive is that we don’t feel it applies to us. Although we all have the ability to empathize and feel for others, there’s always something in our heads that makes us feel fundamentally different. 

A great example of this occurs during a period of heartbreak. During this period, it seems common to isolate your feelings as something no one has ever felt before. We’ll hear advice about “time healing all”, or to “focus on yourself” from those who have gone through similar experiences, but in our brain, we feel as if our sadness is so unique to us that no one else can comprehend it. In some regards, this is true as we are all fundamentally different. But in my opinion, it’s this bubble we create around ourselves and our experience that’s the common thread. 

The third and final reason, which I’ve personally come up with, is that sometimes, we need or just would rather learn about things the hard way. In other words, you learn more (and occasionally have more fun) when you make a mistake yourself instead of avoiding it. This isn’t a universal rule, and there are definitely times when it’s better to take the advice of others than make your own mistakes. But I’ve often found when I make an error, I’m much more likely to remember it than if someone else has. Additionally, I believe some of the best stories come out of mistakes we make. After all, a life where everything goes right doesn’t seem too interesting. 

Overall, whether or not we take advice shouldn’t change how often we give or listen to it, as there is always going to be someone that needs to hear it. But for those that don’t, I think it’s good to take it with a grain of salt. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter and if you agree or disagree with anything I said. 

Something to think about

Where are the female role models?

In a world brimming with controversial male role models, it’s interesting to see a lack of mainstream female role models. Admittedly, as a male, my knowledge of female role models may be limited. However, considering the number of young men who seek guidance from male figures on masculinity, I can’t help but wonder who the young women of the world should be looking up to. Additionally, I think the current state of masculinity and femininity in today’s society makes being a role model for either gender difficult. I would love to hear the insight of any females on this problem, or if you feel like there are any mainstream females you or others look up to.

What I learned This Week

1. Dependency on something likely hinders more than it aids

   Once you get to a point where you require a tool to aid you in working out, sleeping, studying, or any other activity, it may be more of a hindrance than a help. In other words, if your dependence has grown to the point that you need it to be productive, it might be a sign to pause and consider taking a break. 

2. The 37% rule

   The 37% rule is based on the theory of optimal stopping and suggests that when deciding between options, one should consider the first 37% of their options, set a benchmark of the best of that 37%, and choose the next option that surpasses the mark. A good application of the 37% rule is during the search for an apartment/house. Suppose you had a series of real estate viewings. The most optimal way to avoid being worried about the opportunity cost of missing out on a better place is to go through 37% of your listings before deciding on the best option, then looking at the remaining 63% until you find an option that beats your benchmark. 

Interesting content I consumed this week

Just Decide Already

TLDR: “Prioritize making fast, effective decisions over slow, perfect ones” - Juan Ortiz

Young women are out-earning young men in several U.S. cities

TLDR: A new analysis by Pew Research Center shows that in 22 out of 250 US metropolitan areas, women under 30 are earning the same amount as or more than their male counterparts.

If you enjoy receiving and reading this series, please consider sharing it with anyone you think may be interested. I love sharing the way I think with others and would love to hear others’ opinions on my ideas. Thanks!

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That’s all for this week! If you have any thoughts or suggestions on ways to improve this newsletter or parts you think could be in or excluded, please let me know!

1. Experimental history, “You can't reach the brain through the ears”, Adam Mastroianni, March 14, 2023