Week 17 - "Every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away" - Matthew McConaughey
Who do you look up to?
From the worksheets in kindergarten to essays for college applications, we’ve all been asked this question. And for good reason. Who you look up to ideally suggests the type of person you’ll end up being. In a perfect world, we should all answer the question like Matthew McConaughey does; “It’s me in 10 years”.
But in spite of how many times I’ve been asked about who I look up to, I can’t say anyone has ever asked me the reverse. Who don’t you want to be? If anything, human nature should tell us this is the better question. After all, what we want is unlimited and what we don’t want isn’t. It would be a lot easier to avoid the mistakes that lead someone to a place you don’t want to be in than to try and mimic the actions of those you look up to. If there’s anything the self-improvement movement has taught us, it’s that doing the same things as everyone else doesn’t always yield the same results.
Another aspect that only appears as an afterthought is that our role models always have flaws. I mean, there’s a reason people say don’t meet your heroes. In our pursuit to become more like them, it’s easy to lose sight of the idea that our idols are real humans that make real mistakes.
That isn’t to say our role models need to be perfect. You can and should have people you look up to regardless of their shortcomings. But if you can find someone with a trait or relationship you don’t want, it might be easier to try avoiding the steps they took to get there instead of following those of your role model.
I’m not trying to frame this as looking “up” or ”down” at others, but as a simple reminder that you can achieve a lot in life by just avoiding failure. I know that sounds obvious, but in a world filled with so much noise surrounding the “steps to success”, it’s something we all need to hear.
Obviously, there are lessons that need to be learned by making mistakes(see Week 9), but there are equally as many that we can learn about by watching others. Say for example, maybe you don’t want the relationship your friend has with his parents or don’t want to be like that strict teacher you had in 6th grade. Those aren’t things you necessarily want to learn after becoming said individual. Instead, if you can look at these individuals and see what you don’t want, you’ll not only save yourself the entire learning process but also be one step closer to the person you want to be.
Regardless of who your role model is or isn’t or who you do or don’t want to be, it may be worth considering what you can gain from trying not to be like someone instead of trying to be. It’s a small perspective switch, but one we can all implement and find great benefits from.
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A corollary to 'doing the same things as everyone else doesn’t always yield the same results.' may go something like 'not doing the things that led someone to a place you don't want to be may not result in you avoiding the same result' ?