Week 92 - “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us” – Joseph Campbell

Sorry for the long break ;)

Tomorrow, I leave the country for four months to study abroad—a day I’ve anticipated for a long time. Yet, as the moment approaches, my anticipation has blended with nerves to the point where it’s become quite scary.

There’s a lot running through my mind.

On one hand, I expect so much from these next four months. Experiences and people I’ve yet to have or meet run through my mind like memories I can’t quite place yet.

But I know that by even having expectations for what might or might not happen, I’m almost asking to be disappointed.

It’s weird. Expectations somehow both fuel excitement but also set the stage for disappointment.

It’s kind of like this square I drew.

If you have low/no expectations for things, there’s really no way for you to be unhappy with the outcome.

But if you have high expectations, you run the risk of disappointment.

So the thought process should be simple. Expect the worst, and you’ll never be disappointed.

Right?

I’d love to say yes, but I know very well from personal experience that saying you have low expectations is very different from actually having them.

I think it’s a universal feeling to tell those around you that you don’t expect something to happen when in reality, you do. But to help your friends and family not feel like they have to carry the weight of your disappointment, you tell them you’re not expecting much.

We all do it, but why can’t we just have low expectations?

I believe it fundamentally comes down to our primal urge for life to “be good”. No matter what facet of life your expectation lies in, it’s likely that the best outcome will make your life better in some way.

So by expecting the worst, you’re also likely expecting your life to get worse, a reality more scary than a temporary setback or unmet hope. And that’s the thing. Expectations are tied to our inclination to imagine a better future for ourselves, even if we try to minimize the possibility of disappointment.

Looking ahead, it’s still hard to say I have no expectations for what the next 4 months have in store. There’s a lot that can happen.

But as long as I let things happen and do my best to have the experiences that are presented to me, I don’t think there’s a way for me to be disappointed.

After all, everything good and bad is all part of the experience.

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