Week 44 - "There is only one liberty, to come to terms with death, thereafter anything is possible" - Albert Camus
I recently delved into the concept of Terror Management Theory, which suggests that our creation of cultures, values, and belief systems is a fundamental response to managing our innate fear of mortality. This exploration led me to start thinking more not only about the theory itself but also about my personal perceptions of death.
As someone who has been extremely fortunate to have a healthy body devoid of any apparent predispositions to life-shortening conditions, I’ve always been able to put off my thoughts about death by telling myself I have enough time to worry about it later. However, I have an inherent guilt about living as if the longevity of my life is a certainty.
The idea of confronting my own mortality is, admittedly, daunting. Even writing about these thoughts is a challenge, and a part of me is tempted to remain in a state of blissful denial about this inescapable truth. Yet, I recognize that deliberate ignorance isn't a sustainable choice. Sooner or later, the reality of mortality becomes undeniable, and this realization alone has compelled me to at least begin contemplating my stance on death.
In my opinion, Terror Management Theory seems to accurately capture the common human approach to dealing with death. It appears nearly impossible to fully come to terms with our mortality without some form of belief or notion about what may lie beyond. However, I still have yet to completely accept any of these worldviews and have somehow gotten by just telling myself once I die, that’s it. Nothing happens, so worrying is pointless.
Yet, even this stance feels like a convenient evasion. It's a perspective I maintain with a certain detachment, possibly because I'm not currently in the direct shadow of death. This matter-of-fact assertion serves as a shield that I wield because I haven't yet faced the imminent reality of mortality. This realization prompts the question, am I trying to contemplate death, or just cope with it?
I don’t have the answer to that question and am not sure if I ever will. The concept of death holds a peculiar fascination for me; it stands as one of the few absolute certainties in our lives, yet it is also among the most daunting. As I grow older, I hope I’ll be able to think about death less fearfully, but then again, as I age, death inevitably draws nearer. From that perspective, maybe my apprehension surrounding death will only intensify. Only time will tell.
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