Week 15 - "This suspense is terrible, I hope it will last" - Oscar Wilde

Weekly Thoughts

Suspense fascinates me. At its’ core, it should be something we avert ourselves from. If we feel suspense, it’s likely we don’t have control over what’s about to happen, something we should be uncomfortable with. But surprisingly, it’s the lack of control that draws us in.

As I think more about this paradox of suspense, I’ve realized how it’s more than just a feeling we get from movies and television. Suspense brings out a side of us that we rarely confront, our vulnerability. To allow ourselves to feel suspense is to open our minds to endless possibilities. It’s only in the face of the unknown that we are forced to acknowledge the lack of control we have over the outcome.

Yet, the only times we enjoy suspense are when we still have control. When we reach the climax of a media experience, we always have the option to hit pause. It’s rare that we do, but the fact that we can is what we seem to love so much.

The best way I can describe it is controlled vulnerability. We open ourselves up to conclusions we may love or hate, but only because that vulnerability is a choice. Because we can choose to close it off at any moment, we find comfort in it.

Unfortunately, the suspense we have in everyday life doesn’t allow us that control. We still have to be vulnerable to the future, but don’t get an off switch when it heads to somewhere we might not like. But when it heads to somewhere we’ve been anticipating, it’s a feeling like no other.

The best analogy I can think of is searching for a job. When we hand in our resumes or interview for a position somewhere, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the possibility of being rejected or accepted. The stakes of our suspense are exponentially larger than watching a movie, but the feelings are the same. The only difference is that when we apply for a job, we let go of all control. The process from application to a conclusion doesn’t have any breaks or moments where we can pause, which makes the suspense a stressor instead of something to enjoy.

In other words, we love not having control over what happens when we have some control, but hate it when we don’t.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter and if you can at all relate to anything I’ve said. 

Something to think about

The narrative we construct around an experience shapes the experience itself

Everyone knows that feeling you get after a hard workout. You’re sweating, out of breath, and on the floor. Yet, because you willingly engaged in a difficult task, it’s a feeling you value and have come to enjoy. However, imagine experiencing the same physical sensations in the midst of your early morning commute to work. In this scenario, the enjoyment dissipates rapidly. The difference lies in the narrative we construct around the experience. What we tell ourselves before or after an experience profoundly shapes our perceptions and subsequent feelings. By crafting a narrative that highlights the benefits of working out, we are able to derive pleasure from the accompanying sensations.

What I’ve learned

1. The Rule of 100

   The rule of 100 suggests that percentage discounts on items under $100 seem larger than absolute amounts, but the reverse for items above $100. For items over $100, absolute discounts seem larger than percentage ones. The idea operates under the notion that customer decisions can be the same economically, but won’t feel the same physiologically.

Some interesting things

Richard Shotton - 8 Psychology Hacks Behind The World's Biggest Businesses

TLDR: A continuation of one of my favorite podcasts of the year and another fascinating dive into some of the many psychological narratives companies use to influence our behaviors.

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